All in the Name of Science
by Jacques Daniels
Summary: My criteria for insanity is writing a slash fic about the two weirdest characters I know of. ZimDib. Dark... ish. R


**All in the Name of Science**

I once asked God why I wrote this fic. He said it was not my fault that I have been so led astray. I stick to that explanation.

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Dib awoke, his head aching, not knowing where the hell he was. His arms were numb, he couldn't feel his legs, and it felt like he was lying on broken glass. Cold broken glass. Blinking open bleary eyes, the human boy realized that his glasses were gone, the world beyond a mass of fuzzy shadow. Nose wrinkled in annoyance, Dib tried to roll over to grab them from his bedside table... and realized he couldn't. He was held fast to his bed. But then again, what he was laying on didn't really feel like his bed, it was too hard. And too cold. And...

"AAAAAAGH!" Dib yelled, finally realizing where he was. He was lying on an operating table, his arms and legs restrained, and his clothes gone. Well, that explained why it was so cold. "What the hell?!" Dib growled again, trying to pull his arms down, but the straps held fast. He arched up desperately, trying to free himself. There was only one explanation for this, and that was-

"Hello, Dib." a voice said from somewhere behind his head. A high, evil sounding voice. Which could only belong to-

"I suppose you are wondering why you have found yourself in this... interesting predicament." Zim said, stepping into view. Dib's eyes managed to focus on that familiar, if hated face, even without his glasses. The boy's eyes narrowed in fury.

"What the hell are you DOING, Zim?!" Dib yelled, twisting his body, not gaining an inch. Zim looked superior.

"I have brought you here, Dib-worm, for a simple experiment." Zim declared, grinning evilly. Dib remained furious. He wasn't at all amused at the prospect of participating in an 'experiment' that required the removal of all clothing.

"It was really too simple, snatching you out of your bed. You may scoff at my security here, but yours was absolutely pitiful, Earthling fool." Zim continued, gloating with sick triumph, looking down at the human boy with unmasked contempt and... interest?

"Let me go, Zim." Dib hissed from between clenched teeth, hands fisted above his head. Zim's smirk grew wider.

"I will not." the alien said simply, walking around the table on which Dib lay, to an elevated tray, filled with shiny tools. Dib gulped, beginning to sweat despite his anger and the cold.

"What are you going to do?" The human demanded, trying not to stare at the light reflecting off a particularly large and rounded tool on the tray. Zim grinned, picking through the array, looking at one item, and then setting it down again to pick up another.

"This experiment is to test the reactions of a pathetic human body. And because the process requires some... discomfort on the subject's part, you fit the description quite nicely." Zim said, with a snip of a sinister looking machine, before being discarded. The human let out a relived sigh, seeing them be set aside. But that didn't stop him from renewing his efforts to break free, only to freeze when Zim returned to the table, a thin, pointed rod in his fist.

"No. No no no no... Get away from me with that, Zim!" Dib yelled, twisting and bucking. Zim's eyes narrowed.

"Hold still, human slave, or I'll remove both your eyes with a toothpick." Zim snarled. Dib stilled, eyes on the instrument in Zim's hand. Zim smirked, and stepped up to the boy's head, bringing the steel to touch the dark hair, and the skin beneath.

"Hold perfectly still, worm, and it won't draw blood." Zim said, and began.

The tip of the rod danced over skin, first lightly, then roughly, drawing angry red lines on pale skin, raising goosebumps. It started at Dib's hairline, then ghosted down his jaw line, tracing the underside of his chin, prodding the delicate lobs of his ears, circling his compressed lips. Dib's eyes were clenched tight as he tried not to shiver at the cold touch. Zim scribbled notes on a floating pad, as he tested.

The probe then descended to his neck, scratching at the soft skin. Dib choked back a hiss of pain. It traced his collarbone, then around his pectorals, and then, only then did it brush his nipples. Dib yelped and bucked, as if he had been touched with a live wire, the point digging into his chest, drawing blood. It was all Dib could do to relax again, electricity coursing through his veins, his breath shallow.

Zim paused, and stared at him. Dib's eyes flew open as the instrument was pulled back, and watched bewildered as Zim made another note, and set the thing aside, in favor of what looked like a pair of scissors. Zim leaned over him again, and the human prepared for the worst, clenching his eyes shut once more. Something cold closed over his left nipple, and Dib screwed up his face... but instead of cutting, it twisted the pebbled skin, drawing a keening sound deep from within the boy's throat. Zim blinked in surprise, and Dib arched against the tool, panting agonized breaths.

"Does that hurt?" Zim asked dubiously. Dib shook his head desperately, arms straining against the straps.

"Nah... hurts... no...- ah! God... Zim..." Dib groaned out, and Zim blinked yet again. Unseen by Dib, Zim reached wordlessly for the tray, and withdrew a twin scissor-looking instrument, placing it carefully on the other nipple. Dib's eyes flew open, and his mouth opened in a long cry, his whole body writhing. Zim's gaze was fixated on his face, and Dib stared back at him, gasping.

Zim swallowed, and jotted down a shaky note, before catching up the probe once more... and stopped.

"What is that?" Zim demanded, staring at the erection that rose up from between Dib's thighs. "That wasn't there before!"

It took Dib a long second before he could think about what Zim was asking, his mind consumed by the maddening pain and pleasure that made his chest ache. But he looked... and blushed.

"Tha-That's called... an... an erection..." Dib stammered, eyes glazed. Zim turned to look at him again while he continued. "Hu-Human males get them when... when..." Dib couldn't go on, so red now that the stain spread almost to his stomach.

Zim reached out suddenly, and brushed the probe against that swollen, straining skin, and Dim wailed high in his throat, struggling to press further against the steel, hands clenching and unclenching. Zim swallowed again, notes forgotten, watching the silvery metal trace across that amazing skin, listening to the amazing sounds that Dib created in response.

"St-Stop! Please... Zim... ahhh..." Dib gasped, sinking his teeth into his lower lip. Zim paused at the plea, watching ruby red blood well from beneath white teeth, to trickle down equally pale skin. Too tempting. Dib's eyes grew wide as Zim leaned forwards, lizard-like tongue flicking out to taste the fluid. Dib almost purred at the sensation, watching those magenta eyes hover inches from his own. The Invader drew closer, until his lips closed on Dib's own, sucking at the sweet metallic blood. The human moaned, and pressed forwards into the kiss, Zim pressing closer himself. But it was Dib who's tongue ventured forwards to tentively touch the other's, his craving for the other's taste spurring his actions.

It was if he was being sucked down the alien's throat, his eyes never leaving the others, and visversa, Dib whining in his throat as he was dominated. Zim pulled back, a wicked glint in his eyes, reaching out with the probe to touch bruised lips, spreading blood like paint. Dib whimpered, his tongue arching out to touch the cold steel, tasting himself on the tip. Zim laughed at the action, and pulled back, turning his attention south once more.

Dib gasped out a curse as the probe brushed the crown of his member, collecting the dew that beaded from the tip, and was brought around to taste, the alien smirking as the human's eyes grew wide with shock and lust.

"There still is the finale of the experiment, Dib-worm." Zim said cruelly, Dib beyond caring. "There still is... Bob." Dib DID pause at that.

"B-Bob? What the heck is Bob?" Dib gasped out, trying to get control of himself. It didn't work.

"Oh, you and Bob are going to be very good friends. Ah yeeeessssss... Very good friends." Zim hissed out, chuckling evilly. To Dib's amazement, the alien reached for the smallest tool on the tray, bringing it up to twist... and a four inch extension shot out until it looked like a mini satellite, beeping and sparking.

"Open wide, Dib." Zim hummed, grinning as the instrument was brought nearer and nearer to the restrained human's face... The widest thing there was Dib's eyes.

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Jacques- looks kinda freaked out I had once said to myself when I began writing, that when I wrote a fic about the two weirdest characters in existence, I would be officially insane.

As you can see, this point has come and gone, but at least we all know.


End file.
